Zahid ka Hasil-e-Eeman

Zahid is a common term used in many qawwali's, Urdu poetry and generally in the concept of bringing the "devotee" to religion, to love, to divine, in general the good guy. This usually when the poet calls himself the sinner, the bad guy in comparison.

A famous piece of poetry which Abida Parveen has sung from Raqs-e-Bismil goes something like...

"Zahid nay mera Hasil-e-Eeman nahi dekha... rukh par teri zulfon ko pareshan nahi dekha..."
Zahid hasn't seen the result of my faith, he hasn't seen how the confusion of the hair on your face. Indicating, that confusion, because of me itself is an achievement to my life of faith. The set of poetry that follows is further elaboration but that's not the point of my post.

On 3rd July, my cousin, Zahid Suleman Memon, was mugged. He resisted and the robbers shot him dead. He was the 3rd of 4 sons for my Khala (aunt). He was just 1 year out of Indus Valley School of Arts and was a budding Architect. He was a cyclist as well and generally a optimistic person. Most people in their social media tributes remembered him as somebody who was always smiling.

When I visited Pakistan this Eid, we visited Khala. The family was there and we tried to remember Zahid trying to help find closure for everybody involved. Needless to say, it was a difficult situation for everybody, shocking for me, devastating for the brothers, mother and father. Everybody trying to find peace in one way or another, a truly unfortunate incident which all of us will remember for times to come. At each happy and sad moment, we will remember Zahid.

I am a strong believer in everything happens for a reason. Everybody has a purpose in this life. When that purpose is served, he goes. During the time since I heard the news and all that has followed since then and as I sit here, writing this post, I was trying to find what purpose did Zahid's unfortunate passing away serve. I thought of naming this post, Zahid ka Hasil-e-Eemaan (Zahid's result of his Faith).

So what did Zahid's unforeseen death achieve?

My Khala summarized it well, treasure every moment. If you want to say I love you to somebody, don't wait till tomorrow, say it. If you have hurt somebody and you realize, don't wait till tomorrow to say sorry. Make up with family friends for life is too short and it surprises you.

My grandma used to say, "Samaan hay sau baras ka, pal kee khabar nahi" (We are collecting things we need for 100 years when we are not aware of what will happen the next second). So true is that. Zahid's death has made my brother realize priorities. He graduated in the same batch as Zahid, they were close. For me, I see both of them standing next to each other, it could have easily been him. But it was Zahid. I think my brother is talking like a different person since the event. He surely has re-thought his priorities in life, may Allah help him.

For me, I totally was shell-shocked when I heard it. I didn't know how to react. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to console, condole. I didn't know how to deal with it myself. I had to write something to find some closure. But an after-thought has made me realize, that I need to value the truly important things in life. Its natural to become materialistic in this material world. I am guilty of the same. Zahid's Hasil-e-Eeman for me is helping make me realize, there are more important things in life that I should prioritize first. There are lots of things that can go down in importance. Things which give me stress, make me forget and take me away from reality.

Such is the state of affairs. Death is the only truth, some go early, some go late. But all go. This all will end. Maybe soon, maybe later but it is inevitable. Why not spend time on something that is more worthwhile. Who knows, if tomorrow comes or not? What if tomorrow is worse than today? What if today is all there is?

In the daily rut of life, we forget. We take health, life for granted. When in reality, nothing is for granted. This is something that we have borrowed, we will need to return. We should make good use of life. The best use of life is to live for others. Zahid displayed this well. May Allah grant him the highest positions in Jannah, may Allah give his close family members, us, patience to deal with this sad reality. Aameen.

Infinity - The Spiritual Dimension Explained

When I was at university, studying computer science, we had to get into an advanced mathematics course where we studied the concept of differentiation and integration. Within all that, I didn't realize at the time but we were taught an interesting topic of infinity and minimizing and maximizing the limit around infinity.

One of my greatest mentors, a doctorate in Mathematics, and the director of the university at the time, had said something that has stuck in my mind. He said Mathematics is the only language that can explain the most complicated of philosophical theories. It seemed bookish at the time but I think he may have been right all along.

In a chain of thoughts around trying to understand the spiritual dimension, the topics got connected a bit. In my days at university, we were trying to explain the concept of infinity. We tried to set a limit to it, we tried to multiply infinity with infinity or any number with infinity. We tried to add numbers to infinity, infinity to infinity. The results of all those equations was infinity. We tried to divide infinity with infinity, the result was not 1, it was infinity. Sometimes breaking all the rules, sometimes making new rules. Infinity though explained in some way was never really explained.

I think infinity is something that is not to be explained. There has to be something unknown to leave this world as is, unexplained. Even after making the greatest discovery ever, there will be something remaining that will be unexplained, infinity. If the beginning or end of something is not known, the human mind cannot explain it as it doesn't know where to start and where to end. Its something like if you wake up in the middle of nowhere, lets say middle of an ocean. All views 360 degrees being exactly the same, no indications to tell you which direction to move into, you will not know where to go. This reminds of the Matrix movie again where Neo goes into the Matrix for the first time and while the program is being loaded, both Neo and Morpheus are standing in the void, the white. Try to look at the world you are in this way. You are nothing but this minuscule being in the infinity.

The mathematical concept of trying to explain infinity went into defining dimensions. If the concept was not confusing enough already, you started layering this realm of infinity into some layers, or dimensions just to hope to find some explanation. Its totally crazy to imagine or even expect to layer through layers and dimensions and expect to find something that explains the whole concept which just to remind you has no boundaries, no center. It wasn't meant to be. All those studies led to was a more confusing mathematics course but I wouldn't want to take credit away from the great mathematicians who delved into it and gave an attempt at least.

Lets take this all into the spiritual dimension and you can draw a lot of parallels. Replace "infinity" with the One. You may call the One by different names depending on where you come from but there is a concept of Divinity that exists. That is the answer of all questions but not known. If that were known, nothing would remain unknown. As that is not known, even the known things aren't truly known.

The frustrating thing about exploring and discovery is that once something is discovered, the next discovery is built up from it. No area of exploration can be deemed complete as there is always something more to go further into. That is how infinity is. There is no end, known. 

I am confident there is an end though, even though not known yet. The human thirst for knowledge will be eventually quenched, the limit will be reached.  If you have seen the movie, the Truman Show, that moment where Truman hits the boat to end. That's what I am talking about.The infinity will be fenced. This is when the deprived soul will meet with the One. The soul searches, longs for connection to the Divine soul with which it was once connected and then parted. They talk about soul-mates, I am talking about the Ultimate Soul-mate. All else around, this world or another, will be of no value as the true purpose of the search is to find the end, the goal. The exploration mission in the quest for finding the eventual end of infinity is nothing different than finding The One.

The blatant truth however is that its not us who are within infinity. Its the infinity that is within us. Its not just the soul that wants to connect with the Ultimate, its also the other way around. Search within to find the end. Search within to find the limit. Search within to find Him.