With the devastating things happening in Pakistan in the recent past, I have been feeling distant from my roots. I wasn’t feeling the sense of ownership that I should feel. This is not a comfortable feeling for someone who has been brought up with feeling of “Shahadat” (martyrdom) deep in his veins. I have grown up watching the right things, listening to the right things, speaking to the right people to know that the ultimate death is martyrdom. Leave sacrificing my time, my material wealth, I wasn’t even feeling bad for seeing the floods in the country. I was simply feeling cut-off from the reality. I knew I needed to get back to my roots and do some thinking and planning. I can’t be called normal if I don’t stop this now as it would only get worse and eventually put me at a difficult distance to come back from.
With the planned annual leave available, I wanted to plan it in a way that I spent time in my homeland on the Independence Day celebrations. Find some inspiration to do something about the mess.
14th August 1947 was when Pakistan got independence. We became an independent state, in a position to plan out the future of the country in our own way. This year, 63 years down the line, we are not even close to our potential. I have been getting a series of strange confusing dreams and thoughts. Hopefully, they fit together and then they will be unveiled at the right time. But they were related to doing some good for the Muslim world, starting from my own country. Let’s see how these random thoughts come together and materialize if at all in the future.
There were many hurdles on achieving a simple trip, interestingly from different facets, family, work, personal interests. Just planning a trip to be there when the Pakistan Flag is the most selling item on the day had its hurdles.
Amazing, how the negative energy tries to fight anything positive that one wants to do.
Anyway, my will prevailed and we did land at Karachi on 13th August, all set for an enjoyable Independence Day the next day. The landing brought back the Goosebumps I always feel just by the thought that I am touching ground to my soil. My place. It is Home. I’ll be honest; I don’t have a permanent home in Pakistan. I lived in a rented place pretty much all my life when I was here and on my visits, I stay with relatives but nothing of my own. But, it is still home and you feel it every time you come back with the country welcoming you with open arms. I was happy to feel those Goosebumps; it confirmed to me that I still got love and attachment to my home soil. This was a great assurance for my perceived goals and the things I want to do.
However, as a true expatriate, I felt a sense of insecurity as soon as I stepped out of the Airport towards the car park. I watched my baggage with hawk eyes. I kept a special eye on the bag that had the valuables. I mean, it is just sad and strange to compare how I don’t do that at this stringent level in the different places I have visited recently around the world. In my home country, around my own people, I felt more insecure.
Insecurity is a psychological feeling. It is all in the head and completely dependent on the individual. The mind is tuned by the media and what we see in the news which becomes grapevine and spreads like wildfire. If me as a Pakistani, felt this way after coming back after long time, I don’t blame the people who have not been here at all to build a negative opinion about my country. The media does ensure to portray Pakistan as hell on earth.
Okay, so this is not an Ostrich approach. I am not in denial. There are genuine issues here, agreed. Political instability, economic concerns, poverty, education, security... but it is no different than many other places in the world. Many experts are saying that America is now the worst place to live in the world. Your savings are gone, you are down in debt, and the economy is on its way down. However that is not the image it has right now. Take India; while the economic boom is clearly evident from the media reports, there are other issues worse than Pakistan related to poverty, secular issues, religious issues etc. Take the Far East, Korea, Russia, and Europe, take any country. Every country has its own major challenges however if one spends some time on any major news channels for a day, the result at the end would be that that its all going wrong in Pakistan and every other place in the world is somehow “manageable”.
Let me tell you friends. The issues in Pakistan are no different than any other place and yes they are manageable as well. I have seen how people come together to help each other and every problem has a solution which is being put into action. The sad part is, it requires a natural calamity to bring us together. We still got our passions and energy within us. We need stimulus and that’s all. I’ll tell you when something can be labeled as “unmanageable”. When people don’t have the passion in them to stand up for something they believe in. I think, we as a nation are far off from that.
We are just a little disappointed and disheartened with the series of leaderships that we have had since independence but that doesn’t mean we are dead meat. We are just saving ourselves to put it all together when the time is right.
All people around the world know about the Pakistan Floods that initiated from North West and has trickled down the river Indus through Punjab and is currently in Sindh causing devastation to millions along the way. What the international media is not able to show is how independent social organizations, school children, college university students have come together to gather relief funds and have been able to take it to the regions for supporting the people there. There is some good stuff going on here and yet the world doesn’t see that. I ask, why? All the bad news, so called terrorism, devastation, plane crashes, economic situation become a highlight reel but the good stuff about the country is not shown. Anyway, there is no need to ponder over that, as we pretty much know already. The media is a huge propaganda and it’s on a different mission altogether. I won’t even go there. But I’ll tell you its no worries, we will prevail as we are meant to as a nation.
The cynic in me has been my worst enemy. I hate the cynic in me. I don’t trust anybody anymore. I ask why? It is just straight forward brainwash. I have never been robbed or put in a firing line or even had a near encounter with terror. Yet I feel fear and insecure. Am I the lucky one? I wouldn’t think so. I think the majority of the people here would say the same. However, the minority that has been through it and the media has shown it building a red, bold, circle around it to ensure fear is maintained would say, I wouldn’t know as I have not been through it. I am not trying to shy away from the truth but it is not as bad as it is pictured. If we could put a percentage to crime and the ratio of it with the population, I am sure that the number calculated would give us a place far away from the top in the list of countries. We are a peaceful nation and it’s a peaceful country. We are not the most peaceful/safest agreed because of a little confused minority but we are not the most terrorized country either as depicted. However, the media has brainwashed the world as well as us as Pakistanis to think that… and sigh… built the cynic in me.
I land in Karachi and my cheap phone comes out, my PDA stays in my bag until I am on the flight back to UAE in fear of getting robbed. I watch over my luggage, my family with eagle eyes. I am in constant lookout for any strange people around us. Is anybody following us? I don’t leave valuables in the car. I don’t trust people. I hate myself when I observe the cynic that has become a monster inside me.
On the morning of Independence Day, the cable TV went off. This is the time when I was trying to switch it on, looking for Patriotic inspiration dialogue, songs, and speeches. All stuff that could revive my sleeping patriotism. Seeing the cable just be switched off due to some technical issue, gave me the cynical thought that even this is planned as well. They are controlling the media and showing whatever they want the public to see. Why should the public see something that brings them together, lets just kill the cable. An off day at home, and people doing nothing but worrying about what’s going on around the city. It would have been great to listen to some inspirational stuff being shown around the channels and get the spirit of Patriotism back. On the other hand the people were left with thoughts of whether it is safe to go out? Is it safe to help the people? Aaaarrgh!! I hate the cynic that has created within us.
It is an internal war I am at, trying to find inspiration of turning my passion and love for my country into actions which definitely speak louder than this stupid blog post which does nothing other than me venting out my thoughts. Did it do any good for anybody? No. Just a blabber-post forgotten on the next day it was posted.
There are so many things that I want to do. It’s a big picture in front of me but to get there I need some grooming. I need to prepare for the responsibility in whatever way possible. I need maturity, I need knowledge. I need to build management qualities. I observe my life behind me and I see how I have experienced the right things to be ready for the big task that is coming up in the near future. I am sure if you review your past, my fellow countrymen, you might feel the same as well.
Enemies of my country!!! Stop me now while I am just a bud, just a kid, otherwise prepare to regret in the coming times. I plan to blossom and prove my worth and live my destiny. May Allah be with me. Aameen.
My Countrymen!!! Put it all together. Kill the cynic in you. Be the salesman. Be the ambassador. Be the leader. We are born to lead. Find the right inspiration. Put your passion to work.
This is not how it ends. This is how it begins.
