When one grows up to be a responsible person, get married, have kids, he gets even more responsibilities than he would have normally had with just being a son and a brother. He suddenly becomes a husband and then a father. Different people have different ways of approaching these new responsibilities. It takes a while to adjust to these new changes and sometimes it takes too long. One requires patience from the dependents for him to be able to take that load.
His partner, the wife, plays the biggest role of them all. Considering that she is the newest in his life out of his parents and siblings, that is a huge responsibility on her. One has to appreciate the role of the woman in any man's life. Be it the wife or the mother. After all there is one behind every successful man.
The fact of the matter is that all people around this single person play an essential role in helping the person to be able to meet expectations and attend to responsibilities to his best potential.
Responsibilities can be of all sorts. Financial, emotional, professional, etc. The only way to adjust and get the job done correctly is to think about it. Plan it out. If this is not done and assumed that things will just fall in place, then it usually will result in a failure. With so many things happening around him, every man in his own life is playing the role of a CEO/MD. The Chief Executive Officer or Managing Director of his life. He has to have a vision. He has to learn to manage with the available resources and still be able to get the job done. Get the targets met.
There will be limitations. There will be ups and downs. But the man is the captain of the ship. He has to stand guard against all thunderstorms. Against change of weather, against ad-hoc changes to plans. He has to be ready for everything. He cannot cry, he cannot let himself feel let down. He has to keep standing. Keep the flag high. Whether he feels strong or not is a different question. He has to look strong. As on his attitude are dependent his crew. The people behind him. The people counting on him.
There is pressure. There is a recurring question of survival of the fittest. There is pressure to perform. There are results expected. There are dependents on each action taken.
This is just one man...I am just one man....and that is what I will ever be...just one man...
And you'll pull it off! :)
ReplyDeleteand this one man will fulfill his responsibilities in future also inshALLah..
ReplyDeleteStay one man. I don't understand what more than one means and I don't expect you to be less than one :P As you said, others take some of the burden off your shoulders, so let them and make it easier on yourself. No one expects the captain of the ship to do everything or be solely responsible, that's why others are there, they do expect the captain to keep the ship together. The captain can cry and be defeated as well, nothing motivates the team more than to support its captain.
ReplyDeleteSo true. Mashallah... very good views and thoughts you have there.
ReplyDeleteMay Allah Bless you and your family, Ameen
Very well written. I pray all men start thinking like this ;)
ReplyDeleteA very thoughtfull piece on personal development! There are lots to learn from it in the sphere of personal management.
ReplyDelete"After all there is one behind every successful man."
ReplyDeleteAnd two behind every unsuccessful man. You need rest dude.
Meray bhai, mujh jaisay ghair-shadi-shudah logon' ko daraya tau na karo! :neutral:
ReplyDeleteSeriously though: Well written. I am sure you'll never have to abandon ship. :)
@sawj - well yeah...Inshallah...Allah is the guide...
ReplyDelete@jawwad - a man has got to do what a man has got to do...right?
@raza ali - well yeah....but the final pressure, the accountability remains with the captain...
@maryam - thanks for the lovely wishes...
@dinky mind - hehe...all men do think like this...trust me...
@aadil - hmm...interesting you took a different view out of the same page...
@gh - heheh...yeah I heard that one ....keep it at one....sir..
@saadat - the ship is well maintained...and nothing to be afraid of...all of the above is the fun part and comes naturally to us men...we have been made for this...
Ditto Raza Ali...
ReplyDelete..."Others take some of the burden off your shoulders, so let them and make it easier on yourself. No one expects the captain of the ship to do everything or be solely responsible, that’s why others are there, they do expect the captain to keep the ship together...."
let them help...work as a team and it shall be better for the One Man!
Luv.
However others have their respective job description too but accounatbility falls on captain's sholuder...May your ship move smoothly and your crue keep motivating you..ameen
ReplyDeletenice one!
ReplyDeleteOne man playing different roles and thats what life is...
Sounds like you have your feet on the ground and are fully aware of the important functions and roles a man has. That is the first step in attempting to fulfil those roles successfully.
ReplyDelete@ghazal - heheh...ditto reply as done to raza...
ReplyDelete@aashely - thanks for the kind words...
@faisal - absolutely sir...
@solace - well yeah...Alhumdulillah...though I learn more each new day...
Beautifully written...
ReplyDeletewish all men thought in a similar way!
Very true.. nice post!
ReplyDeleteNice post, true to heart. Men can cry, it shows emotion, shows compassion, shows love. In defeat it's important also to recognize it for what it is, and then demonstrate that you are not down for the count, perseverence :)
ReplyDeleteMay Allah grant you success and perseverence in all that you endeavour, and make you beautiful son, sibling, husband, and father, and inshallah grandfather. Ameen.
I second what Amir says. My fiancee appreciates when I stay strong during difficult situations but she likes it even more when I can confide in her over my weaknesses. This creates a stronger bond in the relationship, one that can't be broken easily.
ReplyDelete@mina - as I said above also...THEY DO...not all show it though...
ReplyDelete@laila - thanks and welcome...
@amir - lovely prayer...thanks...
@AmrAdelAmin - that is absolutely true...being open to your partner is an essential part of married life...and bonding...
ditto saadat here :)
ReplyDeleteI ain't a man but I'm already scared off getting married :s
All the wishes and prayers for utp, mayG though :)
I wish you all the best in life! Thanks for the visit and the comment. It's true, God is everywhere and close at all times, in sadness and happiness.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, is UTP an abbreviation for uridine triphoshate? Just curious : )
@asma - scared...Oh gosh...I had no intention so scare anybody but I guess I got at least 2 people thinking again heheh....
ReplyDelete@teedimensionist - thanks...and that is the most complex UTP abbreviation I ever heard...
I have heard Under-Trial Prisoner and that has led to making headline news in the country's Leading Newspaper more than once...I have heard...Unshielded Twisted Pair which is a networking cable concept....and many more...
Read in About Me page to know the exact abbreviation
Your name! Cool abbreviation, I immediately thought of the energy molecule utp, which I spelled wrong, it's uridine triphosphate.
ReplyDelete@teedimensionist - trust me...it didn't make any difference...I hadn't noticed the spelling anyway heheh...you are at the blog of a person who sucked at chemistry...
ReplyDeleteVery interesting post.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I don't think that one has to portray one's self as being strong even if one is feeling weak. It would seem a bit hypocritical and it may not create the trust needed for a relationship either.
Unless and until one identifies and recognizes a problem (e.g. feeling down, feeling weak), there is no way one would attempt to solve it.
No one, including men and women, are perfect and could never be perfect contrary to the ideas expressed in Utopian and romantic fairy tales.
Ultimate perfection, safety, success and satisfaction lies in focusing our efforts to walk on the right path which would eventually lead us to Jannah/Heaven. Unfortunately, we all seem to have forgotten that and we try to focus on issues and matters which are materialistic and thus lead us no where in the end. If life partners are try to focus their energies on leading their own paths and their kids’ paths to Jannah, it might very easier for them to be strong and to fight as a team against all types of odds.
Also, it takes a lot of courage and bravery to cry, or to confide the weak side of yours with someone as close as a life partner is. There is nothing wrong in crying. However, the occasion, the real reason behind, the end goal of, and the conditions chosen for, crying are some important factors before one starts to use crying as a ritual :P
Several great leaders and mighty warriors are known to have shed some tears on important occasions if I could recall correctly. It might serve as a means to purify one’s soul. It may even serve as a therapy, a meditative ritual, if handled (or even practiced) correctly. (Apologies for writing so much about crying but I just don't like the notion that shedding tears is something which should be done by women only. If God did not want men to cry, He won't have given them the ability to shed tears at all).
On the day of the judgment every single human being will be answerable for his/her own actions. Obviously, a man will be answerable for his performance being a husband, son, father, brother, a CEO etc just as a woman will be answerable for her performance in her various roles.
It is thus tough for both, and mutual understanding (which may not come instantly but with time) will help both the sides to do their corresponding duties correctly.
@irfan - every single human being will be answerable for his actions and his attention to his responsibilities....but some responsibilities are inter-linked...
ReplyDeleteThanks for such long comment...that was longer than many of my posts....
Thanks so much for putting in the time...
Was just sharing my thoughts and that too for free :P.
ReplyDelete